Not To Repeat the Lust of Mistakes

Looking for meaning
In an injection
Sorry
A confession

 The realization a year later
It wasn't  done to come to an end

It was to forget about the rest
Things aren't always what they seem
In retrospect I should have admitted
This place confuses me

But instead the course of actions
Sprawled through the satisfaction
Of carnality
That I still feel inside of me

Now
I'm losing a disinterest in life
The consequence of
Seeing an illusion so clearly
As to ignore the rest

Its a shame what we do to ourselves

There's nothing so close
Love it and hate it
Let go
Don't go back
To repeat
The lust of mistakes

Its easy when you understand
I know
The signs
It felt right
But I know
The signs

And wow doesn't it tell a story
Your life
Once glorified
Now I see hedonism for what it is
Muck

Not a meaningful life response
I broke away
To actually learn
To deal with life
Breathe in
Breathe out
The breath continues
Because of the grace of paradise

Came down to the line
Once or twice
Not a lesson I'd try to teach anyone
The lessons of carnality
It won't pick you up
But I will
Cause it's not that hard
Once you've been through it all

Returned to my heart's desire
Try to take it away
Sorry babe
I break easy but not about the same things
I guess everyone breaks at different crevices

I was searching for something else
Theres the sign
The locality denied
Life is in the center
Negate the truth
And suffer

I won't betray my life's desire
To live another life
I like this one

Brace for the challenge
That I should have been prepared for
If I was paying attention
To the signs

Honestly
There's a solution to every problem that exists
Just can't block it and fuck it
Up

Honestly
My heart desires to settle the score
Which feels impossible
So I set time on the wire
And wonder why
Karma is the consequence

I don't need to see this any differently

Setting time free
I forgive myself
Lose the baggage
I know I won't forget the feeling

I can look at you
I forgive everyone

Right in the eyes
I can look at you

Its useless to get screwed up
Just because
Reasons fulfill us
And that will just repeat
A slave to the cause
Of hedonism

I'm not like you
I didn't break down and cry
Except when he died
Cause that day
I didn't even want to do what I did
Yes this is a confession
I lied
The truth is carnal
Too carnal to tell
So I confess to God
And gain respite

And you know the feeling
When you know what your doing is wrong
And you do it anyway
Well maybe you don't
But I'm sure you notice
When your confused
And don't know which path to choose
Those are two completely different things

One is an action
The other is a mistake
So fuck the spoiled life of hedonism
It rots the fruit of our ambition

Closes the options
To killing yourself
Slowly

Our life is to short to color it with rotting fruit
Of what we thought we wanted
Only to later in life
Realize your regrets

I thank god
For my life